Relationships In Our Lives

Introduction :

I started on a path of spirituality and have been writing about spirituality for quite some time. I invite people to buy any of my books on spirituality.



My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality

Attain Infinite Bliss - A spiritual Guide

The Spirit Of Spirituality




Being a strong believer in the principle of Karma, I know that every situation that we experience is based on a complex set of actions that we have done in the past including several previous births. I will not go into a discussion of rebirth. It is an axiom that has to be accepted. I thought of extending this concept to relationships. In our everyday life, we come across scores of people each of whom impact us in a variety of ways and with different degrees of intensity.

Why is it that with some people, within a very short time, we build a strong relationship while with others, even though we know them for a long time, we do not build a lasting relationship? Why is it that with some people we get a feeling of "strong affinity" or "love" or " affection" whereas with others,we do not?

Let me try and take examples from the plant kingdom, my life and try to explain based on the laws of Karma.

1. Morning Glory

Morning glory (Ipomoea) is an annual climbing vine. The flower blooms of morning glory when the morning sun rises and usually is dead by the afternoon or latest by evening. In our lives too, suddenly someone comes for a very brief interaction and before we know the person, he is gone.

I can think of 2 instances in my life.

My father was in a coma in a hospital and we needed blood for him. That day was a holiday and those days in India, we did not have cell phones and even regular land lines were not very reliable. Paging service had just started. I contacted a paging company and sent out a page for volunteers to donate blood. 1 person who was vising my city from another far off city came in to the hospital. His blood perfectly matched and he gave the necessary blood. I thanked him and with all the tension in the hospital, I could not take his contact details.

My father unfortunately did not survive and passed away the same night. He was in coma for couple of days. But for some reason he had to wait till he got blood from this absolute stranger and then he had to breathe his last!

As I have said earlier, every situation is due to an impact of past action. As I analyze the above situation, I surmise that maybe this gentleman owed something to my father in some past life. Maybe my father had saved him in some previous birth and he had to return the favor to my father. So he came in the morning to donate blood and by end of day, he had done his work and was gone.

A second instance is when I was in a mortgage company as a consultant and all of us were laid off. One consultant who i barely knew came up to me and told me to apply for a job in a particular mortgage firm, which I never even knew existed. I applied and surprise of surprise, I got the job. But this person who gave me the lead, I have no idea where he is. That one day, he came, asked me to
apply and then he was gone. Why? Again based on law of Karma, maybe I had helped him in previous birth and he had to repay that debt.

2. Seasonal crops

In India, we have what is called as the Rabi crops or Rabi harvest. It is the spring harvest (also known as the "winter crop") in Indian subcontinent. So we have the crops which are planted in winter. They grow for a couple of months and are dead by spring after the crop is harvested.

These are the type of people with whom we have a short duration relationship, but not the ultra short type I described above. The relationship may last couple of months, but rarely more than an year or two. Again going by the law of Karma, these are people to whom either we owe a debt or they owe
us something over past several lives and it is an interaction that has ripened to be fulfilled in this birth.I am sure all of us can think of numerous friendships/relationships that have barely lasted 1 or 2 years at most. I can think of various classmates that I had when I was in college in India.

Typically in India, there is a phase called pre-university in India which lasts 2 years. I had several classmates and friends at this stage and one of them casually mentioned to me about a premier business school in India and how it was very difficult to get admission. Being from a very normal or probably low income family, I had no idea of such elitist institutions. Normally children from rich family with "blue blood" got into such institutes. After the college days were over, I lost touch with that person. But somehow that name stuck and I took it upon myself to try and get admission.

Again, surprise of surprise, in a field filled with children of blue blood royal families, I was the only one from my department to get admission into that premier business school.

So here was a relationship which sustained for hardly 2 years, but made a big impact in terms of my career and my related life which took me straight up into a middle class existence. Can this be coincidence? Maybe, is what rationalists will say. The unseen hand of Karma is what I will say.

Again maybe i owe a debt to him for his kindness which I may repay in some future birth or maybe I had done a good deed to him and I was getting benefit in this birth.

3. Multi-year

With proper care, grapevines can live for 50 to 100 years or more. This is the type of relationship that lasts typically a lifetime. Most of our blood relationships - brother, sister, father, mother etc are something that are multiyear. Barring the unfortunate people who lose blood relatives early in life, these are something that last a lifetime.

Have we ever wondered why we came into a particular family? Why did a specific person have to be my brother/sister/parent or whatever? Why was I not born to a wretched family suffering from hunger somewhere in Sub Saharan Africa or why was I born to a rich well to do family in some Western country? This cannot be a chance event. Again based on past actions, past desires, past
debts, a series of "equations" which are totally fool proof have been developed by the Universe based on the Law Of Karma and that decides where I am born, with whom I am born etc.


4. Multi-Generational

A mango tree can last up to several 100's of years and keep giving fruits. When I talk of multi-generational relationships, I am sure I will get a "are you crazy" look from people. All of us have heard of statements like, "love at first sight"; "intense love" etc. We also know of situations where for no reason we dislike a person at the first meeting.

Why do these happen with some people and not with everybody. Why is it that, in some instances love or affection just happens? Again based on Karma, I can surmise that probably when 2 people who were very intensely in love in previous births(spouses, lovers etc)  and they come in contact with each other in a different form in some future birth, the basic affinity between the souls
immediately triggers an immense affection or love between them. If the two souls were for some reason intensely hostile(warring kings, warring siblings, rivals) to one another, then in some future birth, the hostility will spring for no reason apparently.

Conclusion

It is interesting to try and analyze each relationship that we come across using the above classification. Some one comes for just a day or two and causes a major impact would be in the Morning glory category. Someone we know for more than a couple of days, but with a maximum of about 2 years would fall in the seasonal crop  or Rabi category. Someone with whom we have a
blood relationship typically would be in the Multi-year grapevine category. Someone whom we suddenly love or hate would fall into the multigenerational category. But all would be decided by the unseen hand of Karma. So, if we want good relationships in future, let us plant the seeds for a multi-generational tree or a multi-year tree today!

As readers may be aware, 3 of my books on spirituality are available on Amazon.com.

I invite readers of my blog to try any of the books and give me feedback so that I can make changes in the next edition.


1. My Humble Understanding  Of Spirituality


My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality

2. Attain Infinite Bliss

Attain Infinite Bliss - A Spiritual Guide

3. The Spirit Of Spirituality

The Spirit Of Spirituality

The Pillars of Traditional Indian Spirituality

Whenever one thinks of Sanatana Dharma or Hinduism or the Indian religion/spiritual foundation, one is struck by the vast number of thought processes using which one tries to define Hinduism. Some say it is not a religion, but a way of life. I don't understand this at all. Every religion prescribes ways to lead life for its believers. So, what is so unique about Hinduism to say, it is not a religion, but a way of life? What is it that uniquely differentiates the Hindu belief system? I have been reading about Hinduism and also have been discussing about it with people and based on these am trying to crystallize my thoughts.

The 4 key pillars of Hindu thought process are:

1. Idol worship

2. Karma

3. Reincarnation

4. Avatara or incarnations of God

Let’s try to study each of these.

Idol worship

There is only one supreme reality and that is Truth Or Consciousness or Brahman, which is  the technical equivalent of God in traditional Indian thought. Each of us is nothing but  Brahman. However it is due to our ego that we see ourselves as mere mortals and do not  experience the true bliss. It is only through the mind/intellect complex that the thought process can be directed away from our ego towards the supreme. But considering that the mind is always wavering what is the hook to use to fix it on a thought higher than the ego. This is where symbols come into play. Some religions use images of saints; some use books.The idea is to have an anchor around which the mind can focus on the higher spirit. The idols that are worshiped in Hinduism in essence serve only that purpose. With passage of time, worshiping an idol itself has become an end-game and not the means to a higher purpose.

While all of us love our motherland, we need an anchor to think of it with emotion. A flag is a symbol of the motherland and we pay respect to it. But the flag by itself is just a piece of cloth. For a true patriot, there is no need of a flag to feel and identify with is country. In a similar manner, for a true seeker, one who has attained the infinite, an idol is just a stone and nothing beyond it. He does not need an idol to anchor his thoughts on the infinite.

A question that arises even for people accepting above logic is why there are so many idols? Let us imagine a situation where a group of people from India are stuck in some remote country. They form sub-groups and start looking out for help. As one subgroup moves, it sees the Indian national flag fluttering in the distance and rushes towards it. Another subgroup hears the magical music of the Shehnai and rushes towards it. A third group smells the delicious aroma of Indian food and rushes towards it. All subgroups have same objective of finding a place familiar to Indians. All of them have been led to the same spot through different cues or symbols of India. In exactly the same way, the final destination for each of us is the realization of God or Brahman and for that the cues or symbols which lead us to that can be different and unique for each individual. Hence one seeker may look on an idol showing a monkey as a compass to God, whereas another may look at an idol of an elephant as a compass. But whatever the idols, the destination is same. So it is absolutely natural that there are several idols to suit the special needs of individuals.

Karma

Does anyone believe that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction? Well, even though I have not measured it exactly, since Newton the great physicist said it and several of modern appliances/vehicles etc work on that principle, I assume it is true. How many of us have heard the statement, you reap what to sow? After sowing seeds of wheat in a field, there is no chance I will get a crop of mangoes. The doctrine of Karma postulates exactly this principle. Every situation that we face today or this very instant is due to a seed that we had put sometime back. Nothing in our lives is accidental. What are the seeds we are talking of that shape our present? T I am sure to develop Cirrhosis if I drink a lot. Cirrhosis does not happen suddenly. By my drinking habits, I have planted the seed of my disease in a future state. The binding desires that we have and action that we do expecting a fruit, are the seeds that we plant which create a specific environment at some point in the future.

The sum total of all the karmas or actions/desires that we have accumulated are the total set of karmas or Sanchita karma. That specific set of karmas which create a specific environment for us in our lives is the set of karmas that have matured and are called prarabdha karma. When a man shoots an arrow from his bow, only when the arrow has hit, there is an impact/reaction. Similarly that set of actions/desires that are yet to create an impact are called Agaami Karma. An action that an individual can take in a given environment is based on his freewill and is called Purushartha.

Let’s assume a diary in which we put down our various engagements. Let’s also assume that we are so meticulous that we put every action to be done in future into a diary and do only those activities on that particular day. So, in effect, as I write down my plans for something on December 31, 2014, I am putting the seeds of what I should do on that day, today itself. Similarly as each day progresses, I may write down items to be done on that day and any other day in future. I may have put wish happy new year to my wife as a task for December 31. But that task can be done only on that day and not today in June. Similarly everydesire/action that we do, gets booked in the Universe’s diary with a date in future. Now, I may have put an action to meet my friend on December 1. But on October 1, my wife declares that on December 1, we are going out. Now this becomes the higher priority and meeting my friend gets pushed out. In exactly the same way, the fruition of our desires/actions happen based on their intensity. 

However, unlike a diary where we can erase and add appointments, in the Universe’s diary, an entry can never be removed and the date of fruition cannot be set by us. The Universe in its own unique way depending on intensity of the desires, decides the opportune time when the desire has to be expressed.

So the doctrine of karma clearly postulates the cause of environment we are in as ourselves, but at the same time provides the freewill to act as we want in that environment and finally tells us that we are the masters of our destiny and whatever we do today, is shaping our tomorrow.

Reincarnation

Very closely related to the doctrine of Karma, is the concept of reincarnation. In the Hindu scheme of things, life is cyclical. There is no beginning and end to life. Just as everyone accepts that energy is neither created nor destroyed, but changes from one form to another, life is neither created nor destroyed, but changes from one form to another. What causes us to be born in a particular life form is a set of desires that we had at some point in time, because of which life covered in the physical form that we are, was created in the environment of our birth.

Depending on the desires/actions, I may be born to a pious family, a family of slaves or in a family of thugs. I may be born as a beautiful child or a cripple. Furthermore, I may not necessarily be born as a human being. IF my intense desire is to taste flesh and blood, I will probably be born as a wild animal. If my desires/actions are of a docile nature, I may be born as a cow. So this cycle of life continues depending on the desires. Only when the desires are fully exhausted, there is no more reincarnation. But will our desires ever get exhausted?

Incarnations of God

This belief is that at different times, God takes different forms and comes on this Earth to deliver it from evilness and lead it on the right path. As part of this belief, there are various myths about God coming in the form of a water bull, a fish, a lion man etc to rid the world of deprivation and to lead on right path.

Even for people not open to listening to these myths, it is obvious that the world has seen great spiritual teachers who appeared at a point in time to lead the masses towards a higher power. Be it Jesus or the Prophet or Buddha or Sankaracharya, there have been great leaders who have totally changed the ways of the world and shown a different path. Whether they were God or God’s messengers is a matter of debate only and does not add anything more to the thought that there are incarnations at key points to deliver the masses.

We see this in modern times too. Just when we thought that the South African apartheid system just could not be dismantled, there came the right set of individuals who dismantled it. When we thought that the corruption in India has gone to a point beyond compare, we seem to have a revolution bringing about a massive change.

So, be it religious, spiritual, economic or whatever, social, the universe always desires harmony and inclusiveness. When circumstances cause an environment to tilt too much in the wrong direction, the universe ensures through the process of incarnation that a right individual/set of individuals will appear and they will fulfill the necessary task of delivering the environment in a right direction.

As readers may be aware, 3 of my books on spirituality are available on Amazon.com.

I invite readers of my blog to try any of the books and give me feedback so that I can make changes in the next edition.


1. My Humble Understanding  Of Spirituality


My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality

2. Attain Infinite Bliss

Attain Infinite Bliss - A Spiritual Guide

3. The Spirit Of Spirituality

The Spirit Of Spirituality

Newest book on Spirituality

Thanks to the continuing support of all my readers, I have published the next edition of a book on spirituality. This book is structured differently from my earlier books and has illustrations to help understand some of the concepts.

It is titled, "The Spirit Of Spirituality". 

It is available at the following locations:

The Spirit Of Spirituality - Paperback

Paperback - The-Spirit of Spirituality-Shashank Katti

The Spirit Of Spirituality - Kindle Version

I look forward to the continued support of all my readers.

Best wishes to all who are on this spiritual journey.