Saturday, June 23, 2012

Why I like or dislike a stranger at first sight?


Recently I went to a party. After some time I saw a person entering. He came and sat down with the rest of us. The others started interacting with him. But there was something about him that put me off. Though he was a complete stranger, for some reason I was not getting good vibes and did not feel like interacting with him.  I guess it happens to many of us that for some unknown reason, we do not like a stranger the first time we meet them or for an equally strange reason, we take a liking to another stranger. Why does this instant sub-conscious like or dislike happen towards a stranger? As I started analyzing, some principles evolved which I would like to share with you all as I try to build on my understanding.

As indicated many times, the only reality is Brahman or the Life principle or consciousness. There is no duality when I realize I am Brahman. So, the very fact that seeing a stranger, I am getting a feeling of either like or dislike means that the Brahman principle is not firmly established. A small wave in an ocean can think of itself as a small wave and dislike a bigger wave that overpowers it or realize it is the ocean itself and not be concerned about likes/dislikes. So the first principle is that, as Brahman, I am everything and everything is me. So the question of anyone else being there does not exist and hence the issue of like/dislike does not arise.



Next arises the question as to who is experiencing the like/dislike. Does my hand dislike the person or my nose? It is pretty crazy to continue this train of thought. It is obviously not the body. Is it the brain? The brain is again an instrument. As we go further on the path of elimination, we finally come to the entity that is really experiencing the likes/dislikes using the instrument of the mind/body/intellect. This entity as readers would have guessed is the “ego”. The ego is not the common ego that we are used to when we say, he has a lot of ego. The ego is that sense of uniqueness or that sense of identity which makes me feel I am separate from the Brahman. It is this entity that likes/dislikes anything.

Next comes the question of how the ego experiences. Let us take a situation wherein I am near a move theater and I see my girlfriend for the first time there. My heart would be pounding with joy and I would be all smiles. Now this experience consisting of the experience itself and the environment that created the happiness are stored in a place in the mind called the “chitta”. So there is now a match between the movie theater and my feelings. The next time I pass by that movie theater, the eyes register the theater and send the information to the mind. The mind does not know whether to be happy or not and consults the intellect. The intellect taps into the “chitta” and based on the association decides that there is a happiness association and conveys the signal to the mind to be happy. Though all this seems to be a complicated set of steps, these happen in an instant and I feel happy as I pass the movie theater.

All these feelings and the triggers are associated with the “ego” and are stored for use. Some of the most recent triggers are in the “main memory” and are available instantly. Some of the triggers are in “archive” and come back after some time. Now comes the interesting part. Till such time as I attain Brahman, the ego exists. So, for most of us who are nowhere near to attaining Brahman, the ego has an infinite existence. Since my ego is the same and does not vanish on death, every feeling that I have experienced and the related triggers for the same are etched into my existence or my individuality. I would have taken several births to get my various desires fulfilled and the triggers/reactions of each of these births, every single one of them is etched in my ego.

Now, it can happen that the person who was my father in this birth may again meet me in some future birth of mine. When I see the person who was my father in a previous birth, the ego looks into its trigger database. It will not find anything in current memory and hence it taps its archive memory. There the ego gets the trigger and the reaction and comes to the conclusion that the presence of this person should give a comfort feeling. So, even though the person is a total stranger, because of his past association as my father in a previous birth, I get a positive vibe. In exactly the same manner, it can happen that somebody was very nasty to me in this life and his presence makes me angry, then the trigger and the reaction are again etched in the ego. If in some future birth, this same person comes into my environment, even though he is a stranger, the ego has tapped its archive and decided that the reaction on seeing this person should be one of dislike.

Thus it is our reaction to any situation by associating ourselves with the ego that causes us to instantly like/dislike a trigger in some future encounters sub-consciously.

As readers may be aware, 3 of my books on spirituality are available on Amazon.com.

I invite readers of my blog to try any of the books and give me feedback so that I can make changes in the next edition.


1. My Humble Understanding  Of Spirituality


My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality




2. Attain Infinite Bliss

Attain Infinite Bliss - A Spiritual Guide


3. The Spirit Of Spirituality

The Spirit Of Spirituality



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