The Spirit Of Spirituality: Reduce Stress In Life

If we took a random poll of most people, the number one issue plaguing them would be stress. Through this article, I hope to expose people to the techniques that can be used to reduce stress. Being able to totally eliminate stress is a lofty objective. But rather than getting stressed up over eliminating stress, I would suggest practicing some simple techniques that will reduce stress. I am sure even a small reduction in stress will result in a disproportionate increase in happiness.

The Oxford dictionary defines stress as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.

Stress could be caused by issues on domestic front, professional front,societal front or practically from any source. Where is this stress felt? Please note that we are not referring to physical stress here. If we look at the broad structure of an individual, we have a physical layer or gross body consisting of our physical body; a subtle layer consisting of the mind and the intellect; a causal layer consisting of the various desires that cause us to take birth in a particular form. When we are stressed, it is obvious that the stress is not in the body. Stress originates in the subtle layer consisting of the mind but has grievous impact on the physical layer. Rather than going into causes of stress which are numerous and unique to an individual, I will try and explain various methods to control the same.

Kshama(forgiveness)
Arjava(straightforwardness)
Daya(compassion)
Santosha(contentment)
Satya(Truth of life: reality)

Kshama (forgiveness)

It is common for most of us in daily life to have disagreements with spouses, friends, co-workers etc. Many times the disagreements take a significant shift to the extreme where the mind is constantly agitated over what someone said or did. This is something that arises as a whirlpool in the lake of our mind and constantly keeps pricking us causing sleeplessness and thoughts of revenge. Unfortunately these thoughts are in no way causing any harm to the person causing this stress, but is only harming us. Even doing an act of revenge though it may seem to give a feeling of closure is only a Pyrrhic victory with a cycle of stress in both parties. So, how can one overcome such stress? It is only through forgiveness. Again it is easy to say, forgive and forget. But most often, we neither forget nor truly forgive keeping the flame of stress burning to explode again at some future time. In my personal experience I have seen that I am able to forgive a person only when I do not see myself in a superior position that I am the forgiver. I need to be actually thankful that I am able to forgive because it is reducing the burning of my mind. I have had problems with colleagues and relatives with a sharp tongue. On the morning following the altercation, during prayer, I specifically include the person who seemingly has hurt me in my thoughts and pray that his family be happy. I have seen this as purgatory and brings a calmness to the mind and prepares me to face the same person with a positive attitude. If we analyze history, Mahatma Gandhi who got freedom to India from the British employed the power of forgiveness. Though he was badly treated by the British rulers by incarceration, Gandhi was able to rise above hatred and forgive his tormentors. Same was the case with Nelson Mandela who could forgive the people who had jailed him for several years. Finally we have the best example of forgiveness in Jesus when he begged for forgiveness to his tormentors who were crucifying him.

Arjava (straightforwardness)

More often than not, we are not what we truly are. We are what others want us to be.I am reminded of a verse that I had heard several years ago(due apologies to the name of the person whose name I do not recall). It goes like this:

If i am "I", because you are "You", then I am NOT

If i am "I", because i am "i". then I am.

If I try to project myself based on what the world wants, then I am cheating myself. If I project myself as I truly am, then I am at peace. Have we not seen hundreds of instances, when in keeping up with the neighbors or society, individuals have overstretched themselves and destroyed their mental happiness? Just because a friend or a colleague bought a fancy car or a over sized house, if without the necessary means, I take a loan and buy these, what happens to me? I am under severe financial stress, though to the outer world, I am projecting a wrong image of prosperity. Imagine a rubber band. As you stretch it, to the outside observer, it appears still. But is the rubber band peaceful? We know it is stressed and can break any moment or if released will immediately return to its normal static state.

In exactly the same way, as we try to lead a life dictated by what we want society to see, not based on what we truly are, we are leading a double life and cheating ourselves. We are getting stressed every moment to maintain the facade that we are showing to society and causing severe stress to ourselves.

Daya (compassion)

We get stressed by someone's suffering especially if they are near and dear. We have to be compassionate. But in our compassion, do we show sympathy or empathy? When we sympathize, we are at a mentally higher level than the other. When we empathize we are in their shoes and feel the suffering.

We look at the poor and downtrodden and feel sad for them and try to relieve our stress by making a donation and getting a smug satisfaction that we have done something. The proper way would be to realize the divinity that is in me is the same divinity in the other person. What I am respecting is the divinity in the other person and not feeling superior. Once there is no superiority feeling in a transaction, there is no ego. Whenever ego is absent, there is no stress, but only peace.

Santosha (contentment)

A king was once touring his kingdom and saw a gardener watering plants and singing happily. He discreetly inquired and found that the gardener had hardly any wealth, but was happy. He spoke to his minister, a wise person. Next day, in the night he planted a box containing 99 gold coins in the garden. The gardener, as he was doing his work, found this box, took it home and counted the coins. He saw there were 99. He counted several times, but always there were 99. He became sad and somehow wanted to get an additional coin to make it 100. Next time the king saw him, the man had a dejected look and was no more smiling.

Most of us suffer from this 99 coin syndrome and experience stress. We just hope that the next additional object we get will give us all happiness. We are happily driving a used Toyota when we see a shining BMW. In trying to get that BMW, we lose our happiness and are in stress. When we get the BMW, we are happy for sometime till we see a mansion and lose our happiness. We are in a good job and are happy till we aspire for a higher position thinking it will make us happy and become stressful.

Can we not be contented with what we have and avoid stress? I can immediately sense vigorous opposition that we cannot progress unless we aspire for something higher. Absolutely right! We should aspire for something higher and work towards it with full effort, but not worry about getting the fruit. Focusing on the action to achieve the goal provides much more benefit at a lower stress. This is the principle of karma yoga where we are told to do the right action to achieve the objective without getting stressed out constantly whether we will get the fruit or not. A tennis player hoping to win at Wimbledon cannot stress over whether he will win or not. He has to focus on doing the right thing in terms of practice daily. IF the focus is on the practice and not the Wimbledon cup, there is less stress and because of the focus on the practice, a much better chance of winning the cup.

Satya (Truth of life: reality)

This is the ultimate in achieving peace and being free of all stress. This is not something that can be achieved overnight, but requires dedicated practice. What is the truth or reality for us? We are all nothing but one infinite source of life. Due to massive ignorance, we assign ourselves to the physical body, mind and intellect and suffer in comparison to others or due to societal pressures. If we know that we are the supreme, then there is none other. This is the principle of non-duality. When there is none other, how can there be stress? Does the wave create stress to an ocean? Does too much of flow of water to an ocean cause it stress or does too little rain cause it stress? The ocean is just water and is calm. In the same way, we are the infinite and anything coming or going should not cause us stress. Imagine a stressful dream where I am watching the dream. If in the dream, I am being mugged, will the real I be stressed? The real I will just watch the crime in the dream like I am watching a crime movie. This whole world is an illusion caused due to ignorance of the realization that we are the Supreme or Infinite. If step by step, we negate the world and its likes/dislikes, the stress level in our lives will surely decrease.

I encourage readers to try some of the above and see the impact it has on their lives. While the impact may not be immediate, I can guarantee that over a reasonable period of time, with the right frame of mind while practicing, the stress level will come down significantly and will reduce the medical bills!

As readers may be aware, 3 of my books on spirituality are available on Amazon.com.

I invite readers of my blog to try any of the books and give me feedback so that I can make changes in the next edition.

1. My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality

My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality