Relationships In Our Lives

Introduction :

I started on a path of spirituality and have been writing about spirituality for quite some time. I invite people to buy any of my books on spirituality.



My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality

Attain Infinite Bliss - A spiritual Guide

The Spirit Of Spirituality




Being a strong believer in the principle of Karma, I know that every situation that we experience is based on a complex set of actions that we have done in the past including several previous births. I will not go into a discussion of rebirth. It is an axiom that has to be accepted. I thought of extending this concept to relationships. In our everyday life, we come across scores of people each of whom impact us in a variety of ways and with different degrees of intensity.

Why is it that with some people, within a very short time, we build a strong relationship while with others, even though we know them for a long time, we do not build a lasting relationship? Why is it that with some people we get a feeling of "strong affinity" or "love" or " affection" whereas with others,we do not?

Let me try and take examples from the plant kingdom, my life and try to explain based on the laws of Karma.

1. Morning Glory

Morning glory (Ipomoea) is an annual climbing vine. The flower blooms of morning glory when the morning sun rises and usually is dead by the afternoon or latest by evening. In our lives too, suddenly someone comes for a very brief interaction and before we know the person, he is gone.

I can think of 2 instances in my life.

My father was in a coma in a hospital and we needed blood for him. That day was a holiday and those days in India, we did not have cell phones and even regular land lines were not very reliable. Paging service had just started. I contacted a paging company and sent out a page for volunteers to donate blood. 1 person who was vising my city from another far off city came in to the hospital. His blood perfectly matched and he gave the necessary blood. I thanked him and with all the tension in the hospital, I could not take his contact details.

My father unfortunately did not survive and passed away the same night. He was in coma for couple of days. But for some reason he had to wait till he got blood from this absolute stranger and then he had to breathe his last!

As I have said earlier, every situation is due to an impact of past action. As I analyze the above situation, I surmise that maybe this gentleman owed something to my father in some past life. Maybe my father had saved him in some previous birth and he had to return the favor to my father. So he came in the morning to donate blood and by end of day, he had done his work and was gone.

A second instance is when I was in a mortgage company as a consultant and all of us were laid off. One consultant who i barely knew came up to me and told me to apply for a job in a particular mortgage firm, which I never even knew existed. I applied and surprise of surprise, I got the job. But this person who gave me the lead, I have no idea where he is. That one day, he came, asked me to
apply and then he was gone. Why? Again based on law of Karma, maybe I had helped him in previous birth and he had to repay that debt.

2. Seasonal crops

In India, we have what is called as the Rabi crops or Rabi harvest. It is the spring harvest (also known as the "winter crop") in Indian subcontinent. So we have the crops which are planted in winter. They grow for a couple of months and are dead by spring after the crop is harvested.

These are the type of people with whom we have a short duration relationship, but not the ultra short type I described above. The relationship may last couple of months, but rarely more than an year or two. Again going by the law of Karma, these are people to whom either we owe a debt or they owe
us something over past several lives and it is an interaction that has ripened to be fulfilled in this birth.I am sure all of us can think of numerous friendships/relationships that have barely lasted 1 or 2 years at most. I can think of various classmates that I had when I was in college in India.

Typically in India, there is a phase called pre-university in India which lasts 2 years. I had several classmates and friends at this stage and one of them casually mentioned to me about a premier business school in India and how it was very difficult to get admission. Being from a very normal or probably low income family, I had no idea of such elitist institutions. Normally children from rich family with "blue blood" got into such institutes. After the college days were over, I lost touch with that person. But somehow that name stuck and I took it upon myself to try and get admission.

Again, surprise of surprise, in a field filled with children of blue blood royal families, I was the only one from my department to get admission into that premier business school.

So here was a relationship which sustained for hardly 2 years, but made a big impact in terms of my career and my related life which took me straight up into a middle class existence. Can this be coincidence? Maybe, is what rationalists will say. The unseen hand of Karma is what I will say.

Again maybe i owe a debt to him for his kindness which I may repay in some future birth or maybe I had done a good deed to him and I was getting benefit in this birth.

3. Multi-year

With proper care, grapevines can live for 50 to 100 years or more. This is the type of relationship that lasts typically a lifetime. Most of our blood relationships - brother, sister, father, mother etc are something that are multiyear. Barring the unfortunate people who lose blood relatives early in life, these are something that last a lifetime.

Have we ever wondered why we came into a particular family? Why did a specific person have to be my brother/sister/parent or whatever? Why was I not born to a wretched family suffering from hunger somewhere in Sub Saharan Africa or why was I born to a rich well to do family in some Western country? This cannot be a chance event. Again based on past actions, past desires, past
debts, a series of "equations" which are totally fool proof have been developed by the Universe based on the Law Of Karma and that decides where I am born, with whom I am born etc.


4. Multi-Generational

A mango tree can last up to several 100's of years and keep giving fruits. When I talk of multi-generational relationships, I am sure I will get a "are you crazy" look from people. All of us have heard of statements like, "love at first sight"; "intense love" etc. We also know of situations where for no reason we dislike a person at the first meeting.

Why do these happen with some people and not with everybody. Why is it that, in some instances love or affection just happens? Again based on Karma, I can surmise that probably when 2 people who were very intensely in love in previous births(spouses, lovers etc)  and they come in contact with each other in a different form in some future birth, the basic affinity between the souls
immediately triggers an immense affection or love between them. If the two souls were for some reason intensely hostile(warring kings, warring siblings, rivals) to one another, then in some future birth, the hostility will spring for no reason apparently.

Conclusion

It is interesting to try and analyze each relationship that we come across using the above classification. Some one comes for just a day or two and causes a major impact would be in the Morning glory category. Someone we know for more than a couple of days, but with a maximum of about 2 years would fall in the seasonal crop  or Rabi category. Someone with whom we have a
blood relationship typically would be in the Multi-year grapevine category. Someone whom we suddenly love or hate would fall into the multigenerational category. But all would be decided by the unseen hand of Karma. So, if we want good relationships in future, let us plant the seeds for a multi-generational tree or a multi-year tree today!

As readers may be aware, 3 of my books on spirituality are available on Amazon.com.

I invite readers of my blog to try any of the books and give me feedback so that I can make changes in the next edition.


1. My Humble Understanding  Of Spirituality


My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality

2. Attain Infinite Bliss

Attain Infinite Bliss - A Spiritual Guide

3. The Spirit Of Spirituality

The Spirit Of Spirituality

Birth Under the control of a Universal Power

Most of us are frightened by death and are unwilling to talk about it. At the same time, we take birth rather lightly, are willing to talk about it without any idea of the cosmic reason for birth. Both birth and death of every entity be it the smallest ant to the largest whale is a universal event. The universe knows and tracks every single birth and death. Before you conjure up the Universal power as a Kafka type dictator, let me try and introduce my understanding of why birth occurs.

Why does birth occur? I can already hear people snidely remark, what is there in this question; we all know why birth occurs. Let me ask the following questions:

1. Why was I born to a particular set of parents?
2. Why was I born in a particular place?
3. Why was I born at a particular time?

Let me take my own example. I was the first child born to my parents after nearly a decade of marriage. My mother apparently lost 3 kids before they were born. So, what was it that caused me to be born and not die before birth like my older siblings?

Before I try to come up with my understanding, let me give some fundamentals. Every living entity is composed of three broad layers, the outermost physical layer or the gross body, the middle layer consisting of emotions and thoughts, called the subtle body and the inner most layer which is the driving force for embodiment, which is the causal body. The gross body is just a vehicle through which the subtle body’s unfulfilled desires can be met and the source of all these desires is the causal body. Again, each action we take, which creates desire adds the desire to the causal body. So it is a never ending cycle.

Death means the death of the physical body. When the physical body dies, the subtle body is just waiting for the opportune time to take on a new physical body which will help it meet its desires. The subtle body is like a seed which is just waiting for the right environment in which to grow. However, unlike a seed which has the probability that it will fall in a hostile environment and will never grow, every subtle body WILL take on a gross body in the correct environment to enable it to grow. This is where the Universal power comes in.

Imagine the Universal power like a huge super-computer with a phenomenal memory to handle very complex SQL statements. These SQL statements are more complex than what we have ever imagined. The Universal power has to make a perfect match between the desires of the subtle body, the current environments of 2 physical bodies, the desires of these 2 physical bodies and ensure that these 2 physical bodies be instrumental in creating a new gross body, into which the subtle body can take birth. It is something like a match making system where potential brides and bridegrooms put their requirements and the system comes up with what they call a great match. However unlike the match making system, where marriages head for divorces, the Universal power’s match making system is perfect. It does not forget even the smallest details of the potential child, the potential parents and the potential environment. Once it makes a match, it is certain that the subtle body will get an environment in which it can fulfill its desires. But, please remember that the Universal power only creates the right environment. It does not ensure that the desires are fulfilled. Just because a seed exists, it does not sprout into a plant. There has to be necessary action like putting the seed in the right soil and need to water it for the seed to sprout. Similarly, the subtle body with its embodied gross body has to do the necessary action in the perfect environment provided by the Universal power to meet its desires.

 Assume that there was a particular subtle body which had just lost its gross body and was waiting for that gross body in the right environment where it could fulfill its desires. Maybe that subtle body wanted to be born in a spiritually inclined family, maybe the subtle body desired a peaceful environment to study more, maybe it desired to be the first child etc. The Universal power started the matching process. It located two people, who wanted a child desperately and were moving from a busy city (Mumbai) to a absolutely peaceful city (Bangalore). The Universal power noted that they did not have children. It noted that the people were spiritually inclined. Once the couple moved to Bangalore, the union of the couple created a physical vehicle for the subtle body and it donned the gross body. That’s why I probably was conceived in a peaceful city as the eldest child to a spiritually oriented couple. This environment provided me the ability to fulfill my desires. But then I had to do the necessary action like studying etc. to fulfill my desires.

The above is just an illustration to try to address the questions. But then the subtle body’s desires are much more complex than what I covered. If we ourselves were to look back every day and list out all the desires that we encountered and how many of them were unfulfilled, we would run out of pages soon to record the desires. So, imagine the number of desires that have been left unfulfilled at the time of our physical death. Once the body dies, there is no way the subtle body can meet its desires. It is then desperate to get into the right gross body. Just as when I am terribly hungry, I will rush into the first available restaurant and will not get into a library, the subtle body gets into the immediately available right environment to help meet its needs. The ability to ensure that the subtle body meets its exact fit is done by the Universal power using its own complex logic.

The question next probably is what is life? Life is a cosmic energy. Just as energy is neither created nor destroyed, life is never created nor destroyed. Just as energy can be transformed from one form to another, life is just transformed from one form to another. The life principle that is in Shashank today will at my death, not just go away. Depending on my innate desires accumulated over several births, the Cosmic power determines the most binding set of unfulfilled desires and ensures that the life takes its form in a suitable body and environment to fulfill its desires.

As readers may be aware, 3 of my books on spirituality are available on Amazon.com.

I invite readers of my blog to try any of the books and give me feedback so that I can make changes in the next edition.


1. My Humble Understanding  Of Spirituality


My Humble Understanding Of Spirituality

2. Attain Infinite Bliss

Attain Infinite Bliss - A Spiritual Guide

3. The Spirit Of Spirituality

The Spirit Of Spirituality